My last column allowed there was a war on women, but not being waged by the Catholic Church as alleged. No, the war was coming from the consequences of the birth control pill and the radical feminism which the pill made possible. These consequences are unprecedented numbers of abortions, infidelities, divorces, illegitimacy, promiscuity, sexually transmitted infections, and poverty due to single parenthood. And all these societal ills have brought suffering — call it warfare — mostly on women.
Not so?
Some ladies emailed me. Radical feminism wasn’t the problem. One wrote, “…what radical feminists do believe is that men should stop systematically oppressing and killing women through violence in the home, on the street and in wars.” I would not have guessed these were huge issues. She goes on,
“Men have proven time and time again, by their sexual abuse of female children, by the abuse and murder of mothers, by their penchance (sic) for ‘family annihilation,’ by their abandonment of the family home… that they have no stake in childrearing, and that their contribution towards child-rearing is a grand sum of nil. What they do do, however, is use their economic clout to coerce women and children into living with them, which can only be achieved by keeping women poor through sex discrimination in the workplace.”
To summarize their remarks, we men are incapable of actually loving women or children — and we’re the real cause of the war on women, because we force them to defend themselves and their children against us.
Women’s defenses against what?
Stated or implied, it’s because of us men, women must use contraception and abortion to defend against coercive sex. Coercion would imply the need for divorce to get out of a bad relationship. Cohabitation or “dating” would prevent getting into one. There would have to be single parenting because of male irresponsibility, or in order to protect children from varieties of evil masculine influence, or simply because a woman wants children. But the concomitants — poverty mostly because of parenting with only one income, promiscuity, STI’s, and illegitimacy — all seem unavoidable to me.
Which seems to prove my point. After all, what is forcing today’s liberated women to give in so easily to men? It wasn’t always so. Before the pill it especially wasn’t so — I know, I was there. Eliminating the risk of pregnancy, or at least pregnancy to term, opened a floodgate — and enabled a feminism in which women could be promiscuous, irresponsible, and… well, behave in many ways just like the kinds of men they abhor.
Feminine happiness
If contraception and abortion have made women more amenable to sexual liaisons, it should be no surprise that men take advantage. And strangely, men won’t be especially appreciative or respectful if the taking is easy.
It seems these feminists are pretty miserable. Perhaps because they have been so disrespected? Humanae Vitae predicted it would happen in 1968. If they are miserable, I’m sorry. And it saddens me if feminists would have big problems with God the Father, and his Son.
But there are women — they’re not rare — who cherish and are cherished by loving husbands. They revel in motherhood, and delight in their femininity. They are pro-life, and they eschew contraception. Most had the opportunity for a challenging career. If men are so hopeless and degenerate, this should not be happening.
We men need virtuous women to enable our virtue. If it weren’t for feminine sweetness, and insistence on self-respect, we could easily become the kinds of adolescent louts feminists rightfully despise.
Power and excellence
Women do have a lot of power over how men treat them. It starts with chastity and insists on love. If a man wants a woman, she can and should first require him to love her, and by the way, show financial stability. If his love is so strong he wants her both to mother his children and until death do they part, she is then in a position to return his love.
Courtship — if things progress that far — should be used properly to differentiate between perfectible human flaws and permanent character deficits. This is best done in the clear light of chastity. Psychiatric studies of personality disorders and alcoholism statistics indicate there are a lot of wrong people to be considering for marriage. A bad marriage is not better than no marriage. Ladies who wrote, thanks. Benedicamus Domino.
