Recently one of my daughters came home and asked, “Are we a super Catholic family?”
In one of my best pro-parenting moments, I met her question with a question of my own:
“Why would you ask that?”
“Well,” she responded, “So & So said, that her mom said, that we are Super Catholic”.
As if that is a bad thing, in my worst, recent, pro-parenting moment, I replied with irritation:
“No. We aren’t Super Catholic. We are Normal Catholic. They just don’t practice the faith, so it is easy to say we are Super Catholic.”
Now, my answer was embarrassingly wrong for all sorts of reasons which the Lord was quick to reveal. But let’s just start with the obvious – I am super Catholic. If I wasn’t you wouldn’t be reading this article, and I would be a horrible Catholic author, speaker, and podcaster committed to helping families to live out the Catholic life.
Additionally, my actual response to my daughter’s question was not super Catholic.
The journey of the spiritual life for each Catholic is unique. The faith lived out looks different for you than it does for me. But for both of us, it is a daily choice to choose virtue over vice, love over anger, charity over judgment, and the Lord over everything else.
It is important to help our children see that being Catholic isn’t just a box they check as part of their identity: Married, white, female, Catholic, Arizona Native. As baptized Catholics they are forever adopted into the family and Catholics are who they are forever. They belong to the Lord. How they live that out, is part of their faith journey and a continual transformative process as they grow in intelligence, trust, experience, and virtue. For all of us being Catholic includes living a sacramental life, but how that is expressed looks a little different for everyone. Our Mother Church makes room for a beautiful variety of expressions of faith be they traditional or charismatic, personal or community-based.
As we raise our little children in our own domestic churches, there are a few things we can do to encourage the continual transformation of their hearts rather than a ‘check the box’ mentality towards faith.
First, encourage questions. Spiritual curiosity is a beautiful thing. Be strong in your faith and seek to continue to question and explore answers as well. If they see you learning and growing that will become their primary understanding of what it means to be Catholic.
Second, don’t expect perfection at any point. There is no such thing as perfection in the spiritual life. Praise their efforts, not the outcome. Look at mistakes or missteps as feedback regarding where and how things need to change.
Next, recognize kids grow & learn differently. Children grow at different rates in different areas also. Instead of comparing, promote a varied path. For instance, one child may like youth-group whereas another may prefer time alone in the adoration chapel. Give them various options for growing in the spiritual life.
Last, provide support and encouragement when engaged in spiritual activities. We should be sparking curiosity and wonder about the world and our God. Spiritual activities should foster love in the family and bring us closer together. If they are barely tolerable, seek to shift your approach or internal disposition as the parent.
I want to teach my children that when I converted 18 years ago, I didn’t just say Yes to the Lord at the Easter Vigil. Rather, I say yes to Him repeatedly every day. Sometimes I say yes loudly, and other times, like in the conversation above, I answer poorly. But as a super Catholic, I know that the Lord doesn’t expect perfection. He loves our efforts, and He desires we grow more every day in our ability to know, love, and serve Him. And that is pretty super.
