You are not alone.
From the time he announced a plan to create greater awareness of mental health and its resources available to the faithful, Bishop John Dolan has made those four words a consistent part of the message.
On Sunday, the focus again turned to those who have died by suicide, along with their family, friends and other loved ones, as the bishop presided over the Diocese of Phoenix’s 3rd annual Mass of Remembrance for Those Who Have Died by Suicide.
September also is National Suicide Prevention Month.
“We take time to honor those who are survivors of suicide loss and to remember in our hearts with great love those who have died,” Bishop Dolan said, greeting nearly 750 worshippers at the 9 a.m. Mass at Ss. Simon and Jude Cathedral in Phoenix.
The rite featured a procession of family and friends from within the nave to the cathedral’s side altar to Our Lady of Guadalupe – the diocese’s patroness – where participants placed a single white carnation for each loved one before the altar.
Bishop Dolan, who has lost three siblings and one of their spouses to suicide over the years, led the line, which numbered approximately 450.
‘Beautiful’
Names of the deceased were listed in a book at the altar and displayed on CW7’s live Mass broadcast, which also was streamed on YouTube and Facebook.
“It was beautiful to see everybody kind of coming together, especially with the flowers and being able to offer them,” said Chloe Aflague.
A parishioner of Our Lady of Grace in Maricopa – part of the Diocese of Tucson – Aflague was one of several friends and family honoring Mark Rodriguez, a Valley resident who died by suicide 11 years ago.
Another friend, Ariana Banda of St. Anne Parish in Gilbert, Ariz., recalled Rodriguez “was the kind of person who always could tell when someone else was having a bad day.
“He would always try to make you smile and try to make sure everyone around him felt included and part of the community. He was good at bringing people together,” Banda said.
Bishop Dolan reminded worshippers that, though heartbreaking, suicide loss does not leave its survivors to experience the pain in a vacuum.
“We are still in a very imperfect world. And, we are very imperfect,” the bishop said in his homily. “But the beautiful thing about God is that God has done all things well, for our sake. God (the Son) suffered and died and was placed in a grave. But He rose from the dead. And for those of us who follow Him, all things will be made well.”
“So, we don’t give up. We trust.”
The ministry
The bishop’s mental health initiative is built on education, accompaniment and advocacy.
He referred to perseverance and community as key principles in the struggle with mental health or with loss.
“We can throw up our arms and say, ‘what’s the purpose?’ The purpose is that we gather around (someone) who may be struggling and support them with love and compassion, and we let them know they have a place in our heart,” he said.
The Office of Mental Health Ministry has someone to pray with and provides resources to those struggling and their families, as well as those grieving.
Since its inception two years ago, the initiative has grown from a single person at the Diocesan Pastoral Center in downtown Phoenix to representatives from parishes in 15 deaneries, clusters of parishes in a geographic area, who were commissioned last November to lead efforts at the 94 local parishes. These individuals will be instrumental in educating others about mental-health first aid, the toolkit used to identify, understand and accompany someone who may be facing a mental health issue.
“I think we’re making strides,” said Office Director Mary Permoda. “Our best communicators are the ones already in a mental health ministry in their parish. Those people (they) touch will tell other people.
“If we can establish a solid foundation with a few parishes, it’s just going to organically grow.”
The impact of community
Mental Health Ministry Education Program Manager Maricel Campa said the public is still learning about certain resources, such as “988,” the 24/7 Suicide Crisis hot line.
But Campa sees overall progress on mental-health recognition – here as well as on the national level.
“We are making a lot of positive strides in bringing awareness not only to the diocese but the Catholic Church at large through the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers.”
A national lay association whose members “are called to be a healing presence in the lives of people with mental illness,” according to its website, the organization is served by Bishop Dolan as its chaplain and Campa, who is a board member.
The issue remains a significant one both locally and nationally.
In its latest provisional estimates for suicide deaths in the U.S., the Centers for Disease Control released figures last month showing suicide deaths rose nationally in 2022 by 2.6 percent, following a nearly 5 percent hike the year before.
Thousands of others also considered taking their lives.
In Arizona, 1,475 people died by suicide in 2021 – the latest year figures are available, according to the CDC.
Permoda said the diocese is working to build official partnerships and coalitions to improve mental health services on a broad level, even as it extends education and resources locally.
As Sunday’s Mass reflected, a basic element is simply being with and praying alongside the hurting.
Mark Rodriguez’s brother, Iggi, recalled the impact of community over 10 years ago upon his family at the time they were in mourning.
“I remember being really loved by everybody at the time. It meant a lot. The burden didn’t feel as heavy,” recalled Iggi Rodriguez.
“He wasn’t just my brother. He was also all of these people’s best friends — so many people [were impacted]. They were also feeling dispirited. All of us, carrying that together, I think, helped; supporting one another; carrying each other’s crosses.”
“I’m really grateful the bishop’s doing this. It helps everybody else who lost loved ones through suicide. It helps — remembering them and honoring them. At the same time, spreading that awareness; [about suicide], [may] help others not have to go through that.”
Watch a recording of the 3rd Annual Mass of Remembrance The Catholic Mass for Sunday September 8th, 2024 – The Twenty-Third Sunday In Ordinary Time (youtube.com)
