Every Sunday all eight of us Dolan kids would pile out of the van and head into Mass while my dad parked the car. “I’ll meet you in the church,” he’d say. At that time, I was so small that I couldn’t see above all of my siblings. As I shuffled along, I remember thinking, how will my dad be able to find us? If I can’t see over the crowds, he probably can’t either.
Of course, spotting a row of eight kids as an adult wasn’t too hard, but as a little kid every time he slid into the pew, I remember thinking, “Wow, my dad is awesome! How did he do that? He always finds us!” I really thought he was a superhero. I still do.
Every Sunday he made the same promise and every Sunday he came through. Even if it took him longer than I thought it would, or it seemed like maybe this would be the time he really couldn’t do it – over and over again I placed my hope in my dad, and he never disappointed me.
With time, this concept began to translate into my relationship with God.
My dad’s example helped me to understand what hope is, and more importantly what hope isn’t. In my earliest years I thought hope was the same thing as wishful thinking: “Okay, God, I’m asking You to show up for me. I don’t know if You will come through, but I really hope You do.”
Like those first times my dad dropped us off, I really wasn’t sure if he would find us. But hope begins with trust, and my trust was built over time as my dad kept his word, week after week. My trust eventually turned into hope.
I began to say to myself, “Even if Dad isn’t here yet, I know he will come. I know he will find us, because he always has.” This is hope — the kind of hope we are invited to find in God. A hope that isn’t based on circumstances, but on the character of a good and loving Father who always comes through for His children.
In truth, we all struggle to trust in God in different seasons of our lives, but where many of us go wrong is in thinking that the doubts and struggles we experience along the way somehow disqualify us.
The reality is, God wants to hear all of it! He’s the kind of Father who gives us permission to be honest with Him. He desires to hear what’s really going on. He wants to show up for you in those hard places, to listen and restore and uproot the weeds of fear and false beliefs so that He can sow new seeds of hope.
Ultimately, we have a God who wants to prove that He is worthy of our trust.
But trust takes time, and it begins with being honest about our experiences of feeling let down by God in the past. I invite you to ponder these questions with the Lord:
Do I believe that God will always show up for me and that He will not disappoint me? If not, where was that trust broken along the way?
Can I perceive how God was present in my hardest seasons? Which of those moments do I still need Him to come into to bring restoration? Will I allow Him to come in?
What do I need to hear from the Lord in order to rebuild trust with Him?
Be honest with God! Maybe you feel like little John Dolan who couldn’t see above the crowds and you’re worried that God won’t be able to find you, or maybe you’re afraid He doesn’t want to show up at all. Tell Him, be real with Him! And then give Him permission to show you that He is trustworthy in those exact places.
You will find that you have a Father who continues to seek you out, who finds you in the crowd, over and over again, and who always keeps His word — a Father who fulfills your every hope, and who will never leave you disappointed.
